Let’s be friends

CR 666/726

Well, if you think it should be, then from the point of view which I have taken from Sfath and which I have kept throughout my life and which I am sure I will bring together to some extent, I can explain an effective friendship in the form of an extensive set of prerequisites which, according to Sfath’s teaching, I put into my own words and which applies to both the female and the male sex. So here’s what I want to do:
1) An intimate and mutual intimacy must be a prerequisite for a true friendship.
2) In a true friendship it is very important and must be self-evident that everything that arises can be talked about reasonably and confidentially.
3) A friendship must be guaranteed and there must be certainty that confidential information will not be passed on.
4) In an intimate, true friendship, in addition to familiarity, there must also be the certainty that trust will continue to exist even if contact with one another is broken for a longer period of time.
5) True friendship means that no untruths are ever told about each other’s behaviour, but only about the effective truths when it is necessary to talk about them for any reason. This means that if it is necessary, negative and bad as well as good and positive must be mentioned in the right context without adding or removing anything.
6) A true friendship requires that each friend can freely and openly represent his or her own views and opinions, even if there are differences of opinion and verbal arguments are made about them at the top of his or her voice, but in any case they may be absolutely correct, factual and provocative, hard-core and merciless, but not insulting, insulting and therefore not incorrectly polemicizing.
7) An effective true friendship implies that when miswords are made or mistakes are made, in this regard, without ifs and buts a forgiveness can be taken for granted.
8) A genuine, true friendship requires that a tolerance and desire for correct, pertinent criticism be given, just as open and honest words may and must always be spoken in every case.
9) A true, honest friendship requires that each party may and can unchallengedly keep its own secrets, because the personal keeping of secrets must always remain incontestably an absolutely personal affair, even under friendship partnerships, and therefore under no circumstances may the ventilation or disclosure of a personal secret be forced by a friendship partner side. And this also corresponds to a fact when lovers have personal secrets whose ventilation must not be forced.
10) A true, good, honest friendship implies that if the right, good, righteous, and positive behaviours and behaviours are correct, the friendship partners can give and behave as they are honorable, so they do not have to pretend or deceive each other.
11) In a true friendship, each friend knows from the other how he leads his world of thoughts and which feelings move him accordingly.
12) In a true friendship, togetherness must be a basic rule and must also be cultivated and enjoyed, but this does not mean constant togetherness, constant planning or joint action, as well as non-permanent collective undertakings.
13) A true friendship requires that the friendship partners are there for each other especially in those times when something goes wrong, problems arise or for some reason the help of the other is needed.
14) An effective true friendship means that both friendship partners can always rely on each other, build each other up morally, motivate each other, support each other and offer each other support in life and existence.
15) A true friendship is built up over a lifetime, which is why it usually takes – with very few exceptions – a lot of time to develop, as well as lasting and amicable love and care, both human and for the partner. A friendship usually does not develop from one hour to the next or from one hour to the next or from one day to the next, because a friendship bond develops through getting to know each other and growing together, which can only happen slowly with time and with common conversations, experiences and experiences etc.
16) A sincere, honest friendship requires sincerity, attention and cultivated care, which must be cultivated to a sufficient degree. Only in this way can friendship grow and an ever deeper bond develop and remain.
17) A good and true friendship requires that in between, if necessary, open, hard and enlightening conversations can be held, which may be very noisy, if the situation requires it. However, being noisy should not lead to fights or quarrels, but should keep calm.
18) A good and lasting friendship requires that the balance of friendship is shown every now and then with loving gestures, attentive words or small gifts, but this must not amount to a testimony etc..
19) A true and good friendship implies equality of rights and duties, while taking into account special abilities in the exercise of the rights and duties of the respective partners of friendship.
20) A real good friendship requires that the effective truth always prevails between the friendship partners, which in this way must also be held externally for each other. Consequently, it must also be given externally for the friend that in every relationship only the truth is valid, said and cultivated, consequently no untruths or lies may be said or conjured up, even if the friend is harmed in any way. In principle, lies or untruths must not be used to try to preserve the friendship partnership or to save the friendship, e.g. when court cases threaten, as in any other case. In my opinion, untruths or lies, which are spoken or even witnessed for the sake of friendship service and friendship partnership, negatively burden and destroy friendship. So a true, good and effective friendship must be so firm and strong in every possible, honest and righteous relationship that untruths or lies should never serve to save ‘friendship’. Truth is in this regard, and so I see that there is no real friendship if one lies to one another or for one another in such a relationship.
21) A true friendship must be such that there is empathy and empathy for one another.
22) An effective true friendship requires a sincere, honest love or friendship love, as well as correspondingly good, positive and rich thoughts and feelings, and mutually reasonable and not abstract, not intellectual and not exaggerated decisions.
23) A genuine and good friendship requires a positive and preventive, valuable conflict management as a prerequisite, through which disputes are settled in the friendship before they break out, and which must be followed by the mutual friendship partners, as it were, seeking and implementing a guided mediation procedure. This is done in such a way that a mutually autonomous consensus is reached or a common, recognised and appropriate approval and agreement is reached.
24) Real friendship requires an inevitable dynamism, as well as a good flexibility with regard to the changes that appear in man, because these are inevitable and inevitable as a result of evolution and aging.
25) A good, positive and valuable friendship requires that no friendship partner ever agrees to compromise, because in principle only clear agreements, decisions and decisions may be given and implemented. Compromises always and in any case mean that one friend should give in to one another and be taken advantage of, while the other should be given more rights. A compromise therefore means that one person must be accommodated and a compulsory agreement must be reached with him or her.
26) A real, true friendship is only then valuable and profitable if a face-to-face contact can be maintained, which is nowadays also possible via electronic technology or screens or monitors and Skype, if people go out of town or country or live in other countries.
27) A true friendship is based on an absolute voluntariness, never in the same way as with a family, into which the person is born and is then assigned to this more forced mass.
28) An effective true friendship requires a good and positive willingness to support all changes in friendship that occur, if they are not anti-social, criminal, criminal or otherwise illegal, life-destroying or life-threatening.
29) A good, real friendship requires, for example, that a certain sense of humour of any decent species is tolerated.
30) A friendship in an honest framework requires that friendship partners build up and strengthen each other in every necessary and important way, but also cultivate their equal rights.
31) A true friendship implies that everything and everyone can be discussed at any time with each other and among each other in complete openness, except for strictly personal secrets, which must always remain personal unless there is a personal need to talk about them.
32) A righteous friendship requires absolute loyalty, constancy with regard to stability, reliability, straightforwardness, steadfastness, immutability, sense of duty, secrecy and loyalty. These values are the cornerstones of a true and lifelong friendship.
33) A friendship requires that both sides (all sides) – when profound differences of opinion and problems arise that could almost degenerate into arguments – are willing and exercised to process everything sensibly in thought and feeling and to find and work out a mutual consensus.
34) A true friendship is to be understood in the definition that it is based on an essential agreement concerning a harmonious community of persons, in which each person included in the friendship is respected, honored, appreciated and appreciated for its own sake, everything being based on honesty, comradeship, fidelity, trust and affection.
35) True friendship requires an appropriate genuine commitment to mutual interests.
36) An effective, good, real friendship requires mutual thoughts and feelings of responsibility, which must be perceived and translated into reality.
37) A true friendship requires the open pointing out in relation to one’s own person that something is important to the other friend, therefore he is respected and appreciated, which of course must be the case on both sides.
38) An open, good friendship implies the need to accept expenses, deprivations, renunciations, sacrifices and sacrifices, etc., which should not, however, be regarded as sacrifices but, as a rule, as peculiarities or necessities related to the subject.
39) A true, real friendship requires a willingness to invest financial resources for fair purposes, if these are justified and helpful, but this is only of the right, if damage is not caused by negligent, asocial, criminal, criminal or wilful self-fault of a friend. However, if financial means are used to conceal a legal offence and thereby avoid a punishment under the law, that would be injustice and would destroy the relationship of trust of friendship for all time, because the memory of it could never be dissolved.
40) A true friendship requires that no false assertions may be made, false statements made or false testimonies given for or against one or the other of the partners of friendship, such as in disputes, hostilities, hostilities, foreign rabble, foreign dealings, foreign conflicts, foreign confrontations and controversies, in foreign friction and quarrels, foreign feuds as well as in court proceedings, criminal proceedings and legal disputes.
41) A person can only have a genuine and deep friendship with one or more other people if he himself is an effective friend to himself and to a relevant fellow human being.
42) A true friendship requires a friendship-altruism or a friendship-related unselfishness, a lack of selfishness, empathy, willingness to help friends, tolerance, altruism, etc., which are great values of the breeding ground for a friendship.
43) A true friendship between two or more people requires that all respect, honour and dignify each other and that they prove to be worthy of humanity in their mutual opposition to each other.
44) An effective, true friendship requires that the mistakes and weaknesses of the friend are understood, but that these must be shown in an instructive way so that the mistake can be corrected and brought into better and healthy forms.
45) A true good friendship does not require human perfection, for there is no such thing; neither the perfect girlfriend nor the perfect boyfriend.
46) A valuable and honest friendship in no way justifies an expectation and a demand that everything is always made flawlessly and correctly.
47) A good, healthy friendship requires that all the good qualities of the friend partner are recognized and appreciated to the right degree, whereby mistakes must be taken into account and treated leniently, because on the one hand man can only learn by first making mistakes and then correcting them, and on the other hand his whole life is oriented towards learning, which inevitably requires making mistakes.
48) A good friendship requires common interests and regular communication regarding personal views, which must be respected but discussed and rectified as necessary.
49) True friendship sometimes means that one or the other friend needs advice or even correction, but this should not be a problem in a good and real friendship. It is true that advice is not always easy to give when it is not asked for, but in a genuine friendship there must be the courage to give good advice unasked for and of one’s own free will. In a manner of sensitiveness, an error is correctly pointed out and help offered.
50) A true friendship requires an absolute ‘for one another and standing together through thick and thin’, which in any case can only be in mutual righteousness, but must be excluded if honour, law and dignity, the protection of life and limb of human beings are deliberately violated or laws are deliberately violated in a punishable manner.
51) An effective, good, true and valuable friendship between two or more people is like a single consciousness in two or more bodies.
That is what I have to say and define in terms of genuine, true, effective friendship, but there are a number of other aspects that I would also like to mention below, even though we are already on the subject: The longing for an effective, true and honest friendship is as old as mankind itself among the people of Earth – as probably everywhere in the universe. Finding truly true and good friendships that last a long life is extremely rare.
The fact is that real friendships do mankind good in many ways, but he must first create them for himself if he actually manages to do so and can build up good relationships in this respect, although then it is usually doubtful whether this is a real friendship, but not simply a comradeship, which in no way has anything to do with a real friendship that increases man’s well-being. So when cronyism, good acquaintance, connecting comradeship or good companionship etc. appear, they are usually no more and no less than simply functioning social relationships, according to which people live happier and healthier and not isolated. Thus, according to Sfath and you, the whole of such social relationships is a natural means of reducing susceptibility to depression and the risk of cardiovascular disease, for example, but less stress hormones are released when being with friends in difficult situations, etc., because people feel calmer and safer when being with friends.
If a person cultivates a good friendship – or several – then a different, better, more peaceful and more harmonious view of existence and life results, which also applies equally if there is a righteous ‘philanthropy comradeship’ or ‘sympathy-connectedness comradeship’ and thus, so to speak, a consciousness kinship, brotherhood, intimacy and harmony-connectedness. It is also a fact that when people who are familiar with each other in a friendly partnership are open, honest, loving and helpful to each other – as is also the case in a good, connecting love in the alliance between two people – then dangers and problems are felt to be much less threatening. In addition, however, at those times when direct eye-to-eye communication takes place and is cultivated, personal joy and self-esteem are raised to a higher level.
So cultivating a good friendship – or several friendships – is just as good as building and maintaining good relationships in the form of camaraderie and thereby increasing well-being. It is a fact that if man, as a result of true friendship or comradeship, has righteous functioning social relationships, then he is thought-feel-psych-consciously more puritanical about correctness. But it also determines other high values, such as virtue, morality, chastity and ethics, and it follows that it is also morally oriented towards stricter principles, such as morality. Also the basic objection, the goodness, the blamelessness, the indescribability and mobility and the satisfaction and health are more pronounced than with humans, who live isolated due to missing friendship, social relations or lacking ‘philanthropy comradeship’ and/or ‘sympathy-connectedness comradeship’.
Basically, it is not about having as many friendships as possible, so the quantity is absolutely insignificant, because effectively, friendships, social relations and ‘philanthropy-comradeship’ or ‘sympathy-connectedness-comradeship’ is about quality. So it’s absolutely not important to have as many friends as possible, as is the case with ‘Facebook’, where hundreds and thousands of people pretend to be ‘friends’ and ‘girlfriends’ for just about any Facebook users without really knowing them with an Atto-Jota; these are truly not friendships.
True, genuine, real and good friendships as well as ‘philanthropy comradeships’ or ‘sympathy-connectedness comradeships’ and other righteous social relationships and bonds are a great enrichment in life and contribute a tremendously powerful piece to the quality of life and thus also to staying agile and vital in old age.
In a true friendship, the friendship partners are always there for each other as best they can when they are needed, and help is always provided where help can be provided, but circumstances concerning and perpetrating punishable crimes, dishonesty, dignity, injustice, etc. are absolutely excluded. If a true friendship exists, then it doesn’t matter for the friendship partner(s) whether the face is made up and the hair styled, no matter what the person looks like, because no person is perfect, and consequently it is also possible to overlook the quirks that a friendship partner has per se. Basically, it is also important in these relationships to first become aware of what a true friendship personally means, as well as to ask whether one’s own person is a good friend.
Unfortunately, many people can be found in life who are considered suitable for friendships, especially through advertisements published in magazines, newspapers, Internet blogs and ‘Facebook’, but unfortunately only in the greatest need or through great financial damage it is recognized whether they do justice to the term ‘friendship’. Many of the antisocial relationships that arise through such media – or through occasions or private meetings – under the dirty guise and abused term ‘friendship’ are truly not friend requests, but only criminal machinations. In this way, lonely, unneeded, naive and even stupid friendship seekers are deceived. On this perfidious tour many women and men fall for fraudsters and swindlers who are not looking for honest and good friendships, but on the one hand only degenerating sex adventures, or on the other hand stupid or people, to whom they can take their wages, their old-age pension and even their entire fortune through lies and fraud. The aggrieved become thoughtless and even insane victims of the fraudsters and swindlers, believe their lies carelessly and usually do not let the financial, psychological and conscious damage suffered deter them from their delusion.
It is rarely possible to make it clear to such delusional people that these ‘friendships’ are only lies and deception, that consequently very few start to think about them and turn away from the ‘friendly’ criminal rip-offs, deceivers and liars and have them prosecuted by the police. And the bottom line for these people – usually women – who allow themselves to be financially excluded and exploited by criminals as a result of false ‘friendship’ is that they lose their fortunes and accumulate large debts in order to continue to ‘supply’ the criminal rip-offs with money and ultimately possibly become in need of social assistance. In order to get through life well, these people must learn to trust only themselves and their own minds as well as their own reason and always help themselves in any case. However, this requires, on the one hand, that a clear mind and reason must be developed and used so that the necessary self-confidence can also be built up and used. The trust of others who only call themselves friends is worth as much as a burnt out wick of a candle. True, honest, effective and good friendship must be developed over a long period of time, for it can never be simply given in blind trust or created by blind hope.
True friendship does not consist of blind trust, for such a trust, like friendship itself, must be earned first. First and foremost, a person must first be confronted in a neutral and unbiased manner in order to get to know him and thereby give him the opportunity to express his views in any way he can think of. This is the only way to ensure that everything that is necessary is experienced, which can serve to develop a friendship.
It is a fact that everyone defines a friendship differently, but does not mean a real friendship in line and thread, as I have explained in the 51 points according to the teachings of Sfath, consequently as a rule only fragile and unrhymed social relationships and acquaintances are meant by friendship and come into being. Therefore it is not understood – as I have already mentioned – that a real friendship must function like an alliance or a good marriage, in which good and bad days appear, which must be managed together in a uniform way, no matter what happens. But this does not work in many so-called ‘friendships’ any more than it does in many alliances or marriages, because in reality they are not given as such, but exist in imaginary realms of consciousness and thoughts. And that this corresponds to the effective truth is something that all those people who lead false and constantly contentious as well as dissatisfied ‘friendships’ and ‘alliances’ or ‘marriages’ do not want to admit, consequently they also do not like the truth that is told to them in this respect, precisely because they do not appreciate the knowledge that is given to them in this respect.
True intimate, honest, real and effective friendships are few and far between among mankind, except for the unreal and illusionistic portrayals in films that give a completely false picture of friendship. In reality, the majority of terrestrial mankind no longer cares about profound friendships, but only about the electronic nonsense which it has made into ‘friendship’ and thus completely neglects social relations with fellow human beings. Only superficial illusory relationships are searched for and accepted, whereby even simple comradeships are ‘out’. Correctly seen, friendships are actually only old and useless formulas existing on paper, which are nowadays only used to somehow justify any contact with another person. But for the majority of people on earth today that is still the only thing they want to have, and anyone who wants more than that, such as a good camaraderie, a social relationship or even a friendship, gets to hear all sorts of derogatory and malicious things, whereby the lack of time is also cited as the ultimate due to a lot of pleasure-seeking, and as a result of this today there is no longer any room for real friendships. On the other hand, there are also many people who would like to have contact and social relationships as well as comradeships etc. with other people, but the hustle and bustle in everyday life and the morbidly stupid attitude of the majority of human beings on earth to ‘occupy’ themselves only monotonously, complacently and selfishly according to their own mistaken and confused ideas of life does not allow them to make use of their intellect and reason. So it happens that otherwise many people are quite lonely and can’t talk to anybody anymore. Hardly any more does a lonely person find anyone with whom he can communicate sensibly, although he longingly strives to find someone who can still be addressed empathetically. For someone who seeks in vain a good, righteous social acquaintance, relationship and connection and who would like to talk to a fellow human being, this is a real torture. It all had to be said.
88. And that is a good thing, because your words belong in the ears of earthlings and in their intellect and reason.

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